Why black women across the world understood Serena’s soliloquy

*originally posted on Women AdvaNCe’s website*

As I sat and watched Serena fight back, tears formed in my eyes.

Her words were sharp.

Her eyes were piercing.

Her body language was stern.

She was fed up.

She’d had enough.

She was exhausted.

I’ve only played tennis maybe three times in my life yet I knew exactly what she was going through.

I felt her pain.

I understood her pain.

I knew her pain.

Simply because, I, too, am a black woman.

Continue reading “Why black women across the world understood Serena’s soliloquy”

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#BoycottNike? Nah.

I said I was not going to write about it because I have discussed this topic more times than I can count. And I arrived at the point long ago where I am convinced that people are going to either accept the truth or they are going to spend the majority of their time redirecting it to fit their “cozy” narrative.

When Nike debuted their new face of their 30th Anniversary, “Just Do It” campaign this week, the internet nearly exploded. Half rejoicing. And the other half in a full blown tizzy.

It was comical.

Continue reading “#BoycottNike? Nah.”

And the NFL keeps fanning the flames..

Just when I thought things could not get more foolish, they do.

And I am over it.

OVER. IT.

You might think I am kidding but I am not.

I. AM. DONE.

I. AM. DONE. WITH. THEM.

The them being the National Football League.

Continue reading “And the NFL keeps fanning the flames..”

Let me tell you how I feel…

Yall, I am tired.

I am tired of so many things.

I am tired of hate. I am tired of prejudice. I am tired of oppression. I am tired of profiling. I am tired of privilege. I am tired of scare tactics. I am tired of racism.

I am tired of conversations about why Colin Kaepernick chose kneeling during the National Anthem as a form of peaceful protest. I am tired of debates about why Kap is not on an NFL team. We all know why. I am tired of discussions about the flag. I am tired of telling people that are so pro-flag that they should scale a flag pole the next time they see one flying while it is raining. Flag code violation. I am tired of dialogue saturated with demands. I am tired of of people “wagging the dog” every time the narrative takes a turn back to its original intent.

Listen.

Continue reading “Let me tell you how I feel…”

My problem with Dabo Swinney…

If I did not learn anything else in 2016, I learned that in times of controversy people’s true colors will shine brightly.

Enter Clemson head football coach Dabo Swinney.

Before September, I was a fan of his, I guess. I had nothing against him. I liked his story. I liked the fact that he was an underdog and had been counted out numerous times. I liked his positive energy, his upbeat attitude and the fact that he always gave credit to God for his many blessings.

I liked what he stood for until he provided me with his opinion surrounding one of 2016’s most controversial figures, Colin Kaepernick.

Like the majority of coaches around the country, Swinney was asked to give his opinion regarding the manner in which Kaepernick had chosen to express his disgust regarding the unjustices plaguing black people and people of color in this country. Swinney’s initial response was that he would not discipline a player who decided to take a stance by not standing for the national anthem even though he thought it would be a distraction. Distraction huh?

Strike one.

Swinney further explains that he believed there is a right way to do things and he did not think two wrongs made a right. According to him, he would foresee the “distraction” as divisive. Divisive huh?

Strike two.

To drive home his failed point, Swinney begans to paint this picture of “luxury” that have been afforded to black people that leaders such as Martin Luther King, Jr. never got to experience-things that were just a dream to him. He reminded us of the fact that President Obama is a two term president, that interracial marriage is now legal, that there are black head coaches, quarterbacks, CEOs, NBA owners, etc. He ends with suggesting that if this country is so bad then “some of these people need to move to another country.”

Strikes three, four, five and six.

If you have been following my blog closely the past two years then you know how much my gears grind when people who look nothing like me try and tell others and myself how we should think, feel and act. Or how we should feel grateful that we now are able to experience “luxuries” that my grandparents could not. I do not care what your title is, where you are from, how much money you make or what side of the bed you sleep on, you do not have the right to tell me how I should react to the lopsided amount of injustices being dished out to people of color every hour.

Now that I have done a little research, I guess I should not have been surprised at his words considering the fact that a few years ago Swinney, who will receive a $400,000 bonus for winning the championship, said he would quit coaching football if players started receiving compensation “because there is enough entitlement in the world as is.” I think I am out of strikes.

As a Christian, I have a problem with Christians like Dabo Swinney who give God all the praise when millions are watching but when the numbers are few, the love he preaches about is not evident in his words. There is no love in telling people to leave who want to see things change for the better in this country. There is no love in being a leader of young men while suggesting that any form of protest against wrongdoings constitute as a “wrong.” There is no love in reminding black people how far we have come without acknowledging the backward steps that are being taken by those in power. There is no love in not supporting compensation for young men and women in a billion dollar industry while making $5.1 million a year off the backs, legs and arms of these young men. To some, this may seem like a stretch and I can almost guarantee that those who think that will not look like me.

Honestly, I would like to be all excited about Clemson’s win. I would like to be all hip hip hooray for the ACC. I would like to be able to call up one of my best friends who is the only Alabama fan I know and offer up a mound of trash talk. Unfortunately, I cannot. To revel in Alabama’s loss is to celebrate Clemson’s win and with Dabo Swinney roaming the sidelines it is impossible for me to do. Although, I am extremely excited for DeShaun Watson. Class act all the way.

However, that is where my excitement stops. I have long accepted the fact that some people will say whatever they want to and seemingly still be rewarded in spite of. One thing I do know for sure is that the Good Book was spot on when it says you reap what you sow. From one Christian to another, Dabo you have been gifted a unique opportunity. Do not ruin it because you choose to not take the time to understand. As a Christian that is exactly what you should be doing. The love you speak about should be evident in your thoughts, words and deeds.

Remember, God is watching.

 

Until next time…TOODELLS.

 

Soo, Joe Mixon wasn’t the aggressor…

Alright. Lets keep it real.

If Joe Mixon was a walk-on or a third string running back for the University of Oklahoma, he would no longer be on the team.

But money talks. And Mixon was the number one recruit for the university in 2014. No way they can kick him off the team, right? They need him because he will produce on the field, right? And him producing on the field means fans will come to the games, right? And fans coming to the games means they are spending money right? And if fans are spending money then that is all that matters, right?

I will admit. I did not do a lot of research on this topic until today. I remember when the news dropped in 2014 about Mixon being suspended. At the time, the news reports were pretty hush hush other than to tell us that he had hit a woman and would be suspended for the whole season.

When the video was released this past Friday, I decided not to watch it. I have a very hard time sometimes erasing visuals from my mind. The thought of watching a man hit a woman so hard that bones were broken in her face was sickening.

At the time, I thought to myself, I do not care what a woman says to you, as a man you need to have more self control than that. And I know there are plenty of women out there that have the ability to provoke a man to the point where striking them becomes inevitable. However, in this case, I thought the actions were pretty straightforward. That was, until I talked to my mother today.

It was during a discussion with my mother than I found out Amelia Molitor ASSAULTED Mixon FIRST. Pause. Say what now? This I have to see. And there it was, as clear as a morning at the beach. Molitor pushes Mixon. Mixon draws back as if he is going to hit her but does not. Molitor slaps Mixon. Mixon lands a right jab and down goes Molitor.

This is definitely not the story that was being reported two years ago.

After this, I begin to dig a little deeper and what I found was disturbing. Molitor was never charged with anything. Nothing. Nada. Zilch.

Pause.

But she ASSAULTED him FIRST.

But it is 2016 and in this case 2014 so I should not be surprised.

Molitor is just as guilty as Mixon is. And in my opinion, she is the guiltiest of the two. Listen, in a perfect world, men would never hit women no matter what. And men would still be taught to never hit a woman no matter what. And women would not hit men or try to bait them into hitting them.

But this world is not perfect and in the present time, men are not raised with the respect for women that the men of the 60s, 70s and 80s were. There are a lot of young men across all races whom are being raised in single parent homes. And these young men operate under a different code.

None of this changes the fact that Molitor was the aggressor. And even though I was raised to believe a man should never hit a woman, I also believe that any woman that is bold enough to hit a man should not cry foul if he hits her retaliates.

The double standards in this case disgusts me. Molitor should have been charged. Mixon should have been dismissed from the team, permanently. And head coach Bob Stoops…please do not get me started on him.

 

Don’t riot but…

“A riot is the language of the unheard.” ~Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

I have never understood riots. I have never understood destroying property, vandalizing vehicles and looting stores. I have never understood the violence.

Until now.

I am angry. I am frustrated. I am overwhelmed. I am sad. I am tired. I am hurt.

I want this to stop. I wanted this to stop in 1992 when they beat Rodney King in the streets of LA. On video. I wanted this to stop in 1999 when Amadou Diallo’s body was filled with 19 bullets. I wanted this to stop in 2006 when Sean Bell was killed the morning of his wedding. I wanted this to stop in 2012 when Trayvon Martin’s life was cut short because of a lunatic’s “suspicions.” I wanted this to stop in 2013 when Jonathan Ferrell needed help but got the death penalty instead. I wanted this to stop in 2015 when Sandra Bland went to jail for a minor traffic violation and came home in a box.

I remember every single one of these incidents. I remember the pain I felt as the narratives unfolded. I remember the questions I had. And I remember wondering why. Why does this keep happening?

It has to stop. I need it to stop.

But it hasn’t.

And now it has hit home.

The war zone is Charlotte. A mere 45 minutes from my hometown. The city I was in on Sunday as well as Tuesday night – the night the city erupted over the fact that once again a black man was dead and the police was behind the trigger.

Police said he had a gun. Witnesses and family say he did not. To me, none of that truly matters. What really matters is why? Why are police always shooting to kill US? Why has execution by cop become the norm? Why are we not given the same treatment as Dylan Roof and the NYC bomber who had a shootout with the cops but lived to tell us all about it?

Why do I have to fear whether or not my brothers, cousins, nephews, father and friends will return to their homes daily? I pray for them every day but rarely am I worried that they will get into an accident or be at the wrong place at the wrong time. However, I do fear them interacting with a cop who may see them as nothing more than target practice.

You want to know why people are rioting? Scroll back up to the top and read the quote again. People are rioting because they are tired. People are rioting because they are frustrated. People are rioting because they are angry. People are rioting because they are fearful. People are rioting because they are scared. People are rioting because the justice system keeps handing out injustices to black people like parking tickets. People are rioting because even when we are peaceful, we are not heard. People are rioting because of systematic oppression. People are rioting because they have been pushed out of their comfort zones due to gentrification. People are rioting because they are tired of being viewed as less than a human. People are rioting because very few are taking the time to listen. People are rioting because violence is all they know. People are rioting because violence is what they have been taught. People are rioting because the people who swore they would serve and protect are the ones they need protection from.

That is why Uptown Charlotte looks like ground zero.

I do not condone rioting. I do not believe it is the answer to the problems. I do believe it makes it even harder to find common ground with those who have no grasp of the issues.

But when you have tried everything else and it falls on deaf ears then the language of the unheard shouts back LOUDLY.

Can you hear them now?

 

#PrayForCharlotte #PrayForNC #PrayForPeace #PrayForTheWorld