I wear many hats. I am a freelance writer. I am a certified personal trainer. I am a group exercise instructor. I am a community servant. I am an advocate. I am a DJ. I am a public relations consultant. I am a marketing specialist. I am a youth development coordinator. I am an event planner. Add to that my dedication to my family, healthy living and my love of eating and what you will find is a person who is grinding in her purpose but is still struggling with finding that happy balance in her life.
One of the best decisions I ever made, well God made it for me, was to move back to my hometown. I get questioned all the time about why I moved back. I used to find myself giving this long explanation but now I simply say because this is where I am supposed to be. Moving home has opened so many new doors of opportunity that it would take all day to list them. I am grateful for all of them. However, now I find myself having a dilemma. How do you balance it all when your plate is full and you still want to put more on it and you know more will be put on it but you are currently struggling to find a place for it all?
In eight days I will be 36 – I know you are counting down with me – and I have made it my personal mission to find a balance that works for me in my new year. For the past few years, I have put a lot of time and energy into my branpire(brand + empire) and not enough time and energy into myself and those that I love. I understand my grind and most of those close to me understand it. However, that does not mean operating at this current level is acceptable.
A few months ago one of my close friends, who grinds just as much as I do issued me the reality check I needed. It was early one morning and I was still up working on a project. We were texting and I made the mention of being #TeamNoSleep. I promptly received a reply telling me to go to sleep as I was chastised for such ridiculous goal. My friend then proceeded to remind me how important sleep is no matter what our goals are.
I was shocked because the texter would routinely be up until 3 and 4 o’clock. I had the texts to prove it. But something had changed. That last text that was sent was simple but on my end it was powerful. I was running on fumes and my mood sometimes reflected it. I found myself being irritable, annoyed and had little patience for certain situations. I knew something had to give.
I live a great life. It is very fulfilling. However, I want more of what makes me happy. I want more time spent with my family and friends. I want more time spent reading under the dogwood tree with my feet firmly planted in the grass. I want more time spent running. I want more time spent traveling. I want more time spent writing leisurely. I want more time spent on adventure. I want more time spent resting. I want more time spent eating pizza. I want more time spent laughing. And we all know how much I like to laugh and eat pizza.
As the years have rolled on, I am appreciative and thankful of the fact that I am constantly in a state of growth. I am learning so much about me as I embrace exactly who God created me to be. I know that everything that worked for me at 30 will not work for me in the coming years. I know that I am living out my purpose even if certain circumstances do not reflect that currently. I know that the best is yet to come.
And I know that in Year 36, I am going to get what I want. Watch me.