I do not want to keep writing stories like this.
I like to stay in my happy place.
But the compassion that wells up inside of me will not let that happen.
Two days ago, I was hurting over the fact that black lives do not seem to matter to some people. Today, I am hurting over the fact that gun violence, scratch that violence, is out of control.
But we already knew that.
I am so tired of this.
I could cry a river right now.
First, it is breaking news that the jury in the Randall Kerrick trial is deadlocked and is seeking advice from the judge. Defense wants the judge to declare a mistrial. State wants the Allen charge enacted which encourages the jury to continue deliberating to reach a decision. Then there is breaking news that Mansur Bell-Bay, the black teenager that was killed in St. Louis on Wednesday, died from a gunshot wound to the back. Supposedly, he pointed a gun at officers. However, the only “witnesses” that saw this gun were the officers. All other witnesses said the did not have a gun.
Hey ya’ll!! It has been a while, huh? Sorry I have been celebrating my birfday all last month. No really, I have been celebrating my birfday(with an f).
I am back though and just in time to give my thoughts on a few things…
Last Wednesday night I cried. And I prayed. And I asked God for comfort. But not for myself.
I was talking to him about Josh Hamilton.
If you have spent any significant time around me the last few years, then you know how much of a fan I am of my brother in Christ. The story popped up on my time line last Wednesday that Hamilton was meeting with Major League Baseball officials regarding a disciplinary issue. Despite his past, my first assumption was NOT that this was drug related. I did not know what to make of it. I just knew I needed to pray.
Then the story dropped, which has yet to be officially confirmed. Hamilton suffered a relapse. My heart sank. Supposedly the relapsed involved at least cocaine and alcohol. That is when the tears started. Hamilton’s “Beyond Belief” is one of my favorite books. A few years ago after reading Coach Tony Dungy’s “Quiet Strength” I became very intrigued with reading about the lives of others, particularly fellow believers in Christ. I was enamored and always floored by the paths some people had taken to get to where they are now or were. I was amazed to see how God weaved different situations into their lives to pull out the best results. Their stories were a sheer testament to the goodness of God and how He continues to watch over and protect us even we are causing destruction in our own lives.
What I loved so much about Hamilton’s book was his honesty. He was very open about his struggles. Hamilton started in detail from his childhood days growing up as a youngster who could throw and hit harder than most teenagers to the path that lead him to become engulfed in the drug culture. From the outside looking in, it was hard to see how this could happen. From the outside looking in, Hamilton had everything you needed to be successful: a two parent household, a loving family, great people skills and an enourmous amount of athletic talent that rivaled my other favorite baseball player, Ken Griffey, Jr.
None of that was enough to keep Hamilton from straying off the path that had been laid out for him by others. As many of you know, Hamilton became addicted to cocaine, struggled with alcohol consumption and was out of Major League Baseball for three years. It is a story that was well documented during my time at North Carolina State which is located in Hamilton’s hometown. The story soon turned from tragedy to triumph as Hamilton battled his demons to find himself back on the field and excelling at the sport he dominated in his youth.
Hamilton has never been one to shy away from sharing his story. He has continued to provide, in detail, what he has gone through and the only way he ever explains being able to overcome those demons is by simply saying, “It’s a God thing.”
So Wednesday night hurt. I do not have to know Hamilton to know that he has been living his life to genuinely please God. So Wednesday night hurt. I do not have to know Hamilton to draw inspiration from him. So Wednesday night hurt. I do not have to know Hamilton to know that for as hurt as I am, he probably feels a thousand times worse.
It is easy to sit around and chastise Hamilton but it takes a bigger person to not pass judgement. This is a guy who willingly went to the MLB officials and admitted his wrong doing. We all have things we struggle with. While it may not be drugs, it is something that can in turn be a “drug” for us. My heart goes out to Hamilton and I will continue to pray for his recovery. I am fully believing it will happen. The same God who pulled him out the last time can pull him out again.
#GODis
When I was a teenager, I had daily routine before school. Wake up. Get ready for school. Watch Rocky & Bullwinkle. Eat cheese toast. Turn to ESPN at 7a to watch SportsCenter. Over the years, my routine has varied some but the one constant has always been my morning dose of SportsCenter. It was on SportsCenter that I got watch one of my favorite sports anchors every morning, Stuart Scott.
I can remember the day I met him as if it happened recently. My sixth grade PE teacher, Ms. Graves, who has become a dear friend of the family invited me to go with her to Late Night with Roy at the University of North Carolina-Chapel Hill. Her son, Will, who was like a little brother was a freshman on the basketball team. Supporting Will was a no-brainer. As a proud graduate of North Carolina State University, traveling over into enemy territory was nothing new for me. In an effort to clearly let the masses know that I was there to support Will, only, and not the team I put on as much red as I could find. Red headband. Red NC State shirt. Red Chuck Taylors. Even in all my red, I was excited. I was excited that Will was going to get his first chance to really showcase his talent to the fans that would be cheering him on for the next four years and I was excited to see Scott in his element, up close.
I settle into my seat and soon Scott was introduced. I was mesmerized as I watched him command the crowd of thousands in the same manner that made him a favorite on SportsCenter. I could not believe I was seeing him in person. Then, it happened. He spotted me. I was sitting three rows from the court and I stuck out like beanstalk in a haystack. He was walking by the bench when I heard him say, “I know I don’t see what I think I see.” We immediately locked eyes and I smiled. Scott asked me to come out onto the court. Now even in all my boldness, I was not about to let him get me out on that court to ridicule me. I shook my head and told him to come up to where I was. As is typical with the banter between a Wolfpacker and a Tar Heel, neither of us budged. He gave up but not without making a State joke then moved on to something else.
After the event, I went over to speak to him. As I approached, he immediately smiled. He reached out to shake my hand, gave me a hug and thanked me for being a good sport. I told him how much I enjoyed him on SportsCenter and how he was one of my favorites. He thanked me, asked me a little about myself, told me to keep doing what I was doing and posed for a picture.
Over the past few weeks, Scott has crossed my mind often. Typically when that would happen, I would go check his Twitter feed to see if he had tweeted anything. He was a regular tweeter and the fact that he had not tweeted since November 14 was a cause for concern. As the weeks went on and the tweets still did not happen, I became increasingly sad. The absence of his tweets resonated loudly. Whenever he crossed my mind, I would pray; for him, his healing, his family especially his daughters, his colleagues, his medical staff, all those who knew and loved him. I tried to remain optimistic as I knew that wherever he was, he was fighting a good fight.
In July, I watched with the world as Scott accepted the Jimmy V Award for Perseverance at the ESPYs. It was fitting that a man who had dedicated so much of his time and efforts to the V Foundation was now on the receiving end of the award named in reference to how Jimmy V lived his life while battling the same disease as Scott. My eyes filled with tears as I listened to Scott deliver a speech that totally changed the way I looked at cancer. He provided me with an 18 word quote that resonated loudly…”You beat cancer by how you live, why you live and in the manner in which you live.”
When my friend Quincy passed away in October after a 10 year battle, it was that quote that often made me smile, through the tears, when I thought about Quincy. Quincy never let cancer define him. NEVER. He lived a life worthy of being remembered forever. He woke up every day determined to live and that is what he did until he took his last breath. As I sat glued to ESPN this morning, I knew Scott had lived the type of life he spoke about on that stage in July. If you were a regular watcher or ESPN, you saw it every time Scott was on. The only indication that he was in the fight of his life was the LIVESTRONG bracelet that always adorned his wrist. There was never any pity, sadness or despair. Whenever Scott was on, he was on just like he had always been. He was a living example of what beating cancer looked like.
Today, through tears, I have thought a lot about Quincy. I have read tweet after tweet from Scott’s colleagues, current and former athletes, the President and those who just love sports. I have watched his fellow anchors fight back tears as “he is” has to now change to “he was.” I have reminisced on the countless hours I have spent watching Scott revolutionize the title of sports anchor/analyst. And I have thought a lot about the day I met him in the Smith Center. At the time, I was still focused on one day becoming an athletic director. Thoughts of one day being a sports journalist had not crossed my mind. If it had, then my interaction with Scott that day would have been much different. I probably would have thanked him for being authentically him. I probably would have thanked him for giving hope to countless black journalists who strive to have a platform as big as his one day. I probably would have thanked him for never compromising who he was. I probably would have thanked him for stepping out on faith and trailblazing a path for others to follow. I probably would have thanked him for bridging the gap between hip-hop culture, sports and corporate America. I probably would have thanked him for being so great on the job and for being even better off of it.
I would have thanked him simply for being Stuart Scott.
Staurt, you nailed it as only you could. With style, grace and a BooYow to top it off.
Well done, sir. Well done.
Sigh.
This sucks. It really does. I have literally watched my team self destruct for months. Sigh.
Sadly, my prediction at the beginning of the season was right. My beloved 49ers just could not get out together. From off season issues to on field miscues to season long talk of whether or not we would be looking for a new coach at the end of December, this season has been a complete disaster. Sigh.
I do not even know where to start. First, I cannot express enough my disgust with the 9ers front office. All season they have done nothing to qwell the talk of their surrounding their dislike of Jim Harbaugh. Since the beginning of the season, it has been abubdantly apparent that GM Trent Baalke would get rid of Harbaugh if given the chance. This was BEFORE they started their skid downhill. All I could do was shake my head. Sigh.
Here we have a coach who has been at the helm of resurrecting our dynasty. The ONLY coach to lead his team to three straight conference championship games in his first three seasons. So what he is not the most outgoing? So what he wears the same outfit everyday? So what he is not your BFF? The man is a proven WINNER. Is that not ultimately what you want? You man to tell me you cannot find a way to set your differences aside for the betterment of the team? Sigh.
This year’s team has been a shell of itself. The offensive line has been plagued by injuries all year. So has the defense. Colin Kaepernick has played with the confidence of a middle school qb. Our receivers have been missing in action. Even our money kicker has been booting pennies. It has just been bad all around. Sigh.
I am mad yall. I am mad about this Harbaugh thing. Now unless players start coming out saying Harbaugh was the problem then I will be fully expecting us to bring in a coach who can only exceed Harbaugh in one area: leading us to our sixth ring. For now, Go Panthers! Go Peyton!
Sigh.
Hello.
Within the past two and a half weeks, I have seen a steady increase in my number of followers. To all of my new followers, THANK YOU! Welcome to the World of Kassie. Since I do have so many new followers, I feel the need to address what you will experience as a follower of mine.
I initially started this blog in August 2012 as my own little space where I could talk about something I love: sports. My intent was to address stories making headlines, shed light on topics that were under the radar and have general discussions concerning a wide range of sports topics. In my initial post, I stated that from time to time I would blog about things other than sports. It is my site so I can do whatever I want to and I have done just that.
Since The Korner was started, I have become a guest columnist for my hometown newspaper as well as writer for a local magazine in my hometown. The more I write, the more I find myself writing about topics that challenge us all to think beyond what we see. The more I write, the more I find myself writing about topics that require us to address our differences. The more I write, the more I find myself writing about topics that make us uncomfortable. The more I write, the more I find myself writing about topics that affect us daily. The more I write, the more I find myself immersing myself in stories about local and world heroes. The more I write, the more I find myself being assured that sports is not the only thing I want to write about.
I still love writing about sports. However, I also enjoy challenging my own self to address topics that are constantly forcing us to examine ourselves and our beliefs. My core followers are still in tact but I owe it to my new followers to continue to address topics that are thought provoking such as the Michael Brown tragedy.
The Korner is not changing. It is improving. What you will get is more of a mixture. I will still write about sports but you will also see more posts that provoke us to take a deep look inside.
Enjoy!
Until next time…TOODELLS!
Kassie Nette's Korner 